Yo momma is so ugly, she makes blind children cry.

A little girl goes to the barbers with her dad and stands next to the chair eating a muffin while her dad gets a haircut.

The barber smiles at her and says: "Your gonna get hair on your muffin!"

"I know" she says "im gonna get tits too you dirty old bastard!"

Doctor: "Look, you're going to have to stop masturbating."

Patient: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

"The future will be better tomorrow."

~ Dan Quayle

How true is this?

I've personally known for a very long time that the likelihood of being accused of sexual abuse at work was entirely based on whether or not she thought he was attractive.

Sucks to be him I guess

A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. "Jesus is watching you!" "who's there?" The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and he heard it two more times when he spotted a parrot. "What's your name," the robber asked. "Cocodora" said the parrot. "Now, what kind of idiot would name a bird Cocodora" said the robber. "The same idiot who named the rotweiler Jesus", said the parrot.