Showing posts with label Holiday Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holiday Humor. Show all posts
Sunday, December 20, 2009
dear santa
This song is wrong in so many ways, but you can't help but laugh.
Some of my own family members were used in this creation. Although not harmed in the making of this video, they were definitely taken advantage of. (haha, jk)
Lyrics:
Dear Santa,
This is Billy from Dallas. I would like a Big Wheel with a air-conditioning package, power-steering, CD player and also a Sony Playstation.
Dear Santa,
This is Raul from Venezuela. I want a stick. To burn for heat!
Dear Santa,
This is Jessica from Aspen. I'd like a Barbie Dream House with the electric sports car, lots of outfits and matching outfits for me, too, please!
Dear Santa,
This is Lupe from Paraguay. I want some rain. So I can stop drinking my own urine!
Dear Santa,
This is Joe from North Chicago. I want a new bike and a G.I. Joe with Kung Fu grip and grenade launcher!
Dear Santa,
This is Azi from Yemen. I want a grenade launcher.
Dear Santa,
This is Jimmy from Grenage. I want an electric train set with the whole village, and the mountains, and the tunnels, and a robot to clean my room!
Dear Santa,
This is Chang from Laos. I want an electric scooter, a surf board, roller blades, and a CD-rom player. Just kidding! I want a stick!
Dear Santa,
This is Wu-ta-ti-ta-tu from Kolkata. I want a fly swatter, one that doesn't hurt when you hit yourself in the face, and some OFF!
Dear Santa,
We are the children of the World! We want Sean Morey to be struck dead, please!! See what you could do! Even if it means I don't get that stick!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Just think...
Just think...if Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey,
we would all be having a piece of ass this Thanksgiving!!
we would all be having a piece of ass this Thanksgiving!!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a 'bad day'........
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
'What the hell was I thinking?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ...
I've changed my mind.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
####################################################
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
*****************************************************************
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky, and West Virginia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
=====================================================
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
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