THE DICKHEAD SONG (original REVENGE song) by Miles Betterman

The Horse and The chilcken

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

How can you tell if a FAX was sent by a blonde?

It has a stamp on it.

Crabs!!!

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and
asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them
staying frozen mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer and
proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York she used the intercom to announce to the
entire cabin:

Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your
hand?"

Not one hand went up .... So she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think. *

Hit me baby one more time

Beer

Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.

It was then observed that 100 % of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

Go get it boy!!!

Smart Guys.

NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands?

SAGE: Clever men don't BECOME husbands!

Magic Show Volunteer

Incidentally, If it was a boy, shed have named it Kreskin. Now she has no choice but to name it Terrorspawn.

Dumb Family Feud Family

"Name an animal with three letters in its name." "Alligator."